


The Art of Shipping

by Soundone



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Friendship/Love, Gen, M/M, Video Game Mechanics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:26:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6625000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soundone/pseuds/Soundone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soleil and Nina discover the relationship tester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Art of Shipping

Dusk-soaked clouds drifted across the sky. The songs of crickets danced quietly on the wind. The moon lazily rose higher above the horizon to begin its stalwart shift, watching over the silent world below. It was typical, picturesque evening in the Astral Realm, a time where the nightlife played and the inhabitants of Lord Corrin’s castle partook in a revitalizing sleep which would better prepare them for the trials of tomorrow. Or, at least, it should have been. Indifferent to the laws all good humans should abide by, a certain mercenary and thief duo had managed to break free from constraints of the clock as they huddled suspiciously outside the castle’s records hall, the latter working a lockpick steadily into the door.

‘’Ninaaaaa! Are you sure this is worth it?! They’re going to kill us if we’re caught!’’ the infiltrator’s partner whined, worried eyes flying in every direction, untrustworthy of a single shadow.

‘’Don’t be such a baby, Soleil!’’ the braided thief scowled back. Her olive eyes were squinted in fiery determination. ‘’You didn’t see what’s in here, don’t know the amazing things Corrin has access to...’’ She caught a stray drop of drool before it escaped her lips, blushing a tad as she made sure her friend didn’t notice. ‘’T-Trust me, it’ll be worth it.’’

‘’Jeeeez, the stuff you rope me into. If I get grounded over this, you’re buying me lunch for a week! I mean, just think about how heartbroken those poor, dateless girls will be...’’ Her friend huffed, but Nina ignored the spiel, too preoccupied with the tumblers. Soleil couldn’t have understood, no one could without seeing for themselves the otherworldly wonders that their commander hoarded away from daft, deprived eyes.

‘The nerve of that half-dragon bandit!’ The irony of that statement was lost to the thief as her lockpick sank deeper. ‘To have all that... power... and not share it with me! All that time I wasted fantasizing, when I could have been...ha, ha, ha, come on you stupid thing!’

Her passion emotions paid off when a melodious click eventually chimed from within the lock. The knob turned, freed from its paralysis as doors drifted opened like the gates of heaven themselves.

‘’I-It’s open! Quick, Soleil, hurry!’’ Nina all but sang, wasting no time racing into the building. With a groan, the disgruntled mercenary trotted on after, closing the doors with a thud as the last sliver of moonlight disappeared from their sight.

As soon as the entrance shut behind the two, the darkness of the hall suddenly dispersed as magic torches fluttered to life on the walls, bathing the interior in a soft, amber glow. Nina retreated her excitement for a moment, her outlaw senses taking over and searching for traps. Footsteps were barely audible to the ear as the thief cautiously approached the archives, Soleil tiptoeing nervously at her side. When she failed to sense any magic or detect any traps, she took a deep breath, inhaled the scent of dust and history before relaxing her muscles and letting loose a sly grin. She made it in.

‘’Holy, crap! L-Look at all these documents!’’ Nina heard her partner yell, wide eyes inspecting the various scrolls and tomes littering the shelves. There were war council plans, treasury ledgers, sealed chests. They clearly weren’t supposed to be seeing this.

Soleil poked her head into a large book laid out on a pedestal. ‘’This is the freaking soldier logbook! This thing has dirt on everyone in the army, even the royals! Corrin’s going to feed us to the wyverns if someone finds out we were looking at this!’’

‘’So don’t look.’’ Nina grunted, more occupied in searching the shelves.

‘’Y-Yeah, but...’’ A stray line of ink captured the mercenary's eyes. ‘’Setsuna: The most flexible in the army... e-err, hold that thought...’’

Nina did her best to ignore her friend’s perverse ambitions as she continued her hunt for Corrin’s secret. She clicked her tongue at the unimportant artifacts, such as the ancient scrolls detailing the origins of their world or the magic mirrors which seemed to replay major events of the war like they were happening right in front of her. It wasn’t until she reached the very back of the hall did her eyes lit up. Sitting in a corner, surrounded by a small forest of crumpled notes was a tablet of sorts. More peculiar were the eerily impressive caricatures of everyone in their army that lined the face of the tablet, humming with a strange magic.

‘’Whoa! And here I thought your hobbies were creepy.’’ Soleil teased as she joined her friend, though Nina was too entranced by the object to rebuke. The mercenary picked up one of the stray scraps of paper, quirking an eye at the odd text. ‘’ ~~FeliciaxJoker~~ , ~~FeliciaxAqua~~ , FeliciaxMe... what the heck is Corrin doing in here?!’’

‘’This...T-This is it!’’ Her voice was sudden and explosive, surprising her friend as she stretched her arms out, almost in worship. ‘’This... is the shipping machine!’’

‘’...the what now?’’

Nina didn’t bother wasting time trying to explain, too excited to contain herself for a second more. Eager fingers darted towards the face of the machine. As soon as she made contact, the tablet lit up like the night sky. The wall behind it suddenly shimmered with magic, both of the girls’ jaws dropping when the image of a man faded into existence on the mystic screen. He seemed rather old, with a bald head and a time-bleached beard. A groggy yawn further stretched the wrinkles on his face as his mouth slowly began to move.

‘’Sorry, pal. The other guy had an appointment with his chiropractor, so I’m filling in this we-...hey, you’re not the fella I was told about.’’

‘’You control this machine, right?’’ Nina gushed, eyes stretched wide while Soleil got ready to draw her sword. ‘’C-Can I use it too? Please, just once!’’

The man gave in much easier than Nina expected, a rosy blush quickly touching his cheeks and an unsettling smile his lips. ‘’Oh...O-Oh ho! W-Well, if two lovely ladies want to push Old Hubba’s buttons, who am I to say no! Choose a pair of sweethearts, and I’ll tell you whether they’ll be hot or not!’’

‘’EEEEK, YES! THANK YOU, THANK YOU!’’ the thief beamed, unaware, or uncaring, to the innuendo. She eagerly located and tapped on the faces of two men in particular, breath baited and hands trembling as she glared at the screen, which started to fluctuate with colour and movement.

\-----About to swoon----->

Xander               88%               Ryoma

<\---------Feels safe---------

‘’ _I’m rootin’ for you, brother!’’_

‘’...HELL YES! I knew it, I knew it!’’ A wild grin threatened to tear open her face as Nina’s heart danced ecstatically in her chest. She cupped her friend’s hands, riding on her boy-on-boy high and indifferent to the empty eyes that stared back. ‘’Look, Soleil, look, looooook! I knew they had something going on! I mean, yesterday they looked at each other 12 times and last week they almost touched fingers during practice and this morning they ate at the same table-’’

‘’You’re risking our lives so you can prove your stories?’’

‘’-last night they talked for 9 seconds longer than usual and earlier they used the same door knob!’’ Nina felt her knees quiver from all the muscular emotions, falling onto Soleil’s shoulder for support. ‘’Haaa, isn’t boys love wonderful?’’

The mercenary rolled her eyes, but cracked a small smirk at how goofy the face her overdosed friend was making. She would have been lying if she said she wasn’t slightly curious about the machine herself. Moving Nina into a more comfortable position, Soleil cautiously glanced over the faces on the tablet until she found the one of her.

‘’Hmph. Couldn’t whoever drew these things have done mine at a better angle? My chin is too big! I don’t look nearly as cute as I could be!’’ At least the pose made her seem rather dashing. She nudged her friend, tongue stumbling slightly. ‘’You, uhh... You think I could try?’’

She took the dreamy babbling and the drooling as a yes, plopping a finger on little Soleil,

‘...Ophelia probably has a thing for me. She did show up for tea early last time!’

and one on the picture of her mage friend, a touch of nervousness in her sway as the screen returned to life.

\------Like minded------>

Soleil              89%             Ophelia

<\-----Head over heels-----

‘’ _I’m not one to judge, ladies!’’_

‘’...nice. Heh, a-always thought she dressed a bit more racy for me.’’ Her heart started to pump faster, sparking an overactive imagination that set her on the same dark path as Nina. ‘’C-Come to think of it, Sophie decided to sit next to me during the last mission briefing. That’s pretty much a marriage confession by itself!’’

\-----Wants to snuggle----->

Soleil                   93%               Sophie

<\-----Way too attached-----

‘’ _Hoo! It’s hotter than Elfire in here!’’_

‘’...HELL YES! I knew they were just playing hard to get! SO LEIL, SO COOL!’’ The mercenary gave a childish squeal, pumping a fist into the air like she had just won the lottery.

Nina, who was knocked out of her reverie and fantasies by the hustle, shot back a dirty look, grumbling at her friend’s rather hypocritical change in personality.

‘’Now who’s the creep? A-And stop just trying to match yourself up! This machine’s for pure love only, not for you to stroke your ego!’’

‘’Hmmmm, where’s the fire, Nina?’’ Soleil teased in a sing-song voice, still elated from her girl-on-girl high. ‘’I think someone’s just jealous that they don’t have a bushel of lovely ladies fawning over them.’’ She poked the thief coquettishly on the cheek, which set off a light blush.

‘’G-Get real, jerk! Besides, like I would want some booooring girl on me!’’ Flustered, she flicked the hand away before turning her full attention back to the tablet. Spirited olive orbs scoured and located the icons of the army’s resident beastboys, whose faces were swiftly smushed beneath Nina’s passion. She had been watching the pair closely, saw their feral lust nearly escape past fragile walls of self-control so many times, weakened by feelings more vivid than the sun, more true than the moon. The two were ready to ravage each other, she could-

\-----Sparring partner----->

Kaden               35%              Keaton

<\-----Not into the hair-----

‘’ _Seem’s one’s avoiding the other.’’_

‘’...huh?’’

‘’*cough*Ninaisaloser*cough*’’

She must have been seeing things. She could have swore she saw a rating that wasn’t ‘Ready to get married right this moment’. Her eyelid twitched violently, a defiant voice screaming for bloody anarchy within her chest as she tapped on the two beastmen once again.

\-----Bad chemistry----->

Kaden                 32%               Keaton

<\-----Totally platonic-----

‘’ _Oh dear, they just don’t mix.’’_

Nina let out a indignant stutter, knuckles white and palms red. Her vision was starting to blur.

‘’...Hey, N-Nina. I-I was only joking. Why do you keep-’’

But the mercenary’s words fell upon deaf ears, an aura of unrelenting rebellion blocking out everything that dared to question her pairing. Fingers tapped again, much harder this time.

\-------Friend zone------->

Kaden               9%               Keaton

<\-----Feigns friendship-----

‘’ _Ouch! It’s almost com-’’_

‘’SCREW YOU, OLD MAN! WHAT IS THIS CRAP?!’’ The fuming thief screamed murder, fists slamming onto the tablet. ‘’You got some sort of agenda, huh?! I know where you live!’’

‘’Nina, calm down!’’ Soleil tried to sooth, massaging her friend’s unbelievably tense shoulders. ‘’You don’t have to prove anything to me! T-This doesn’t even matter-’’

‘’IT MATTERS TO ME!’’ A primal roar was all Soleil was rewarded for her efforts, hands backing off in fear of being bitten off. Letting the red drain slowly drain from her mind, Nina eventually did manage to remove the fire from her veins, trying her best to forget about the insults to her pride as she attempted to explain herself to the frightened deer in the corner.

‘’Argh, sorry, sorry. M-Maybe I got a bit excited there...’’ She let her gaze drift, embarrassment beginning to sink into tanned skin. ‘’...I kinda get... d-defensive over these things...’’

The mercenary hummed from her position, admiring the somewhat amusing spectacle, before giving one of her sunny grins. ‘’I could have told you that, boys lover. Hehe, I’ve put up with worst from you.’’

‘’Hmph, I don’t want to hear that from the girl who keeps trying to make me her wingman.’’ she sighed, though she felt a touch more lighthearted as the chuckling woman returned to her side. ‘’Besides, it’s not like you know how I feel! You keep getting perfect readings for your girls love!’’

Trying to prove her point, she tapped the tablet again.

\-----Drools openly----->

Elise               92%             Sakura

<\-----Lovely Dovey-----

‘’ _Get a room you two!’’_

‘’See! See!’’ Nina glared daggers at the screen, making sure its inhabitant was well aware of her ire. ‘’There’s clearly a huge bias here! Why do the girl pairings get so much more love?!’’

‘’Obviously because Mr. Hubba is a man of fine tastes and realizes the superior beauty and allure of girls!’’ Soleil smirked cockily as she leaned on Nina’s shoulder. ‘’Isn’t that right, sir?’’

‘’Preach it, sistah!’’

The two comrades-in-arms shared an eager high-five through the screen, further fraying the nerves in Nina’s head.

‘’You pair of perverts... That’s it, you’re going to eat those words, Soleil! I’ll show you just how amazing the love between boys really is!’’

‘’HA! You can try, but until you poke my eyes out, girls will always look better! I’ll show you myself!’’ she challenged, an excited smile hot and striking as she bumped heads with her opponent. ‘’Try not to cry when I sweep your fantasies under the carpet!’’

‘’I could tell you the same thing!’’ Nina replied with equal enthusiasm, before suddenly jabbing a finger at the screen, holding a frightened Hubba hostage. ‘’And _you_! You better judge us fairly or I’m going to shoot an arrow up your magical ass!’’

‘’Eeep! Y-Yes, ma'am!’’

With that little bit of extortion behind them, the two gave each other one last mocking look, tongues sticking out and lashes winking, before eager fingers raced over the tablet in unison, Old Hubba running rampant as a stream of cheers and jeers began to echo into the once quiet building.

\----------Devoted---------->

Kagero                  94%                  Orochi

<\-----Desires attention-----

‘’ _Don’t forget your vows!’’_

‘’Look at these two well-rounded sweethearts! See how much love is in their chests, how vast and soft their emotions are for each other, how large and pillowy-’’

‘’I know exactly what you’re doing and I’m telling your dad.’’

\-----Never wants to part----->

Arthur                 94%                Benny

<\-------Has a sweet spot-------

‘’ _Whatever floats your boat.’’_

‘’Now this is the best of boys love! Strong and rigid on the outside, but tender and passionate on the inside! Haaa, can you imagine how _wild_ their love-making would be...’’

‘’Knowing Mr. Arthur’s luck, he’d probably find some way to end up accidentally pregnant.’’

\-----Carries a torch for----->

Soleil                  91%               Rinkah

<\----------Possessive----------

‘’ _I sense an affair in the making...’’_

‘’You know, maybe you have a point about the whole muscle thing. Ms. Rinkah’s abs totally makes me swoon...’’

‘’Normally, I’d call you out, but I have to admit, she really does look good... sigh, if only you spent more time working out instead of having tea. I might have gotten excited at this.’’

‘’Hey!’’

\-----Lives and dies for----->

Kaze                96%              Saizo

<\------Has a sweet spot------

‘’ _Don’t worry. It’s wholesome.’’_

‘’Haah?! What the hell do you mean ‘it’s wholesome’?! Forbidden love between brothers is the pinnacle of romance! Blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood! You coward, make it lovely-dovey right now or so help me, I’ll-’’

‘’Nina, you’re scaring me.’’

\-----Drawn by destiny----->

Rhajat                 55%              Corrin

<\----------Awkward----------

‘’ _Sorry, out of your league!’’_

‘’HA! IN YOUR FACE!’’

‘’Soleil, you really need to let this go.’’

\-----Total respect----->

Shiro              87%          Siegbert

<\-------First love--------

‘’ _I’m rootin’ fo-_ aww, give it a rest, kids! I’m running out of one liners!’ _’_

They continued well into the night, the sky outside turning creamy purple by the time they had run out of steam and Hubba out of fortunes.

‘’Haha! Girls love had more points in total! A victory for ladies everywhere!’’ Soleil boasted as the two of them leaned against the machine, shoulder to shoulder. Nina grumbled, frustrated at the tally of points they had been keeping, along with the noticeable deficit on her side.

‘’Tsk. I still think that old coot had something to do with it... T-Too bad you still haven’t convinced me!’’ Nina remained indignant, her pride too strong too accept such a defeat to boys love.

‘’What was that? Is that Nina-speak for ‘I’m a sore loser’?’’ the mercenary grinned, getting flick to the forehead and scoff in response. Still, like the sun she was named after, Soleil continued to smile regardless, enjoying the banter and cute expression that came with. Feeling mischievous, the mercenary inched closer, enough for her to feel Nina’s body heat on her cheeks, before she danced her fingertips along a shuddering neck. ‘’You know, if you can’t be convinced through this, I could always give you a more personal demonstration...’’

‘’Eeeek!’’ Nina shied away from the touch almost instantly, cheeks as red as a cherry as she glowered at her friend’s teasing laughter. ‘’J-Jerk, I’d rather be serenaded by a Faceless!’’

Soleil continued to laugh as she was pelted by a hail of crumpled papers. ‘’Sorry, sorry! I apologize for not lacking enough facial features nor being green enough to sway you, Ms. Nina. You just looked really cute there. Couldn’t help myself.’’ With that, she returned her back to the machine and closed her eyes, a sleepless night taking its toll.

‘’C-Cute?...’’ She felt the heat burn a little brighter. She hated how casually her friend said those words, and how easily it made her heart pump. Her traitorous body only served to further prove Soleil’s argument.

‘’Smoothtalker... I’m going to get you for that.’’ A flower named vengeance blooming in her chest, Nina got up and returned to the tablet, clicking on the screen to get the sleepy Hubba’s attention. ‘’Hey, pervert. Do me a favour here...’’

Soleil was eventually snapped out of her lily-filled dreams by the familiar tapping on stone and the not so familiar cackling from her friend. Letting out a sigh, she forced some energy to her legs and hopped to the thief’s side, who was smirking rather sinisterly at whatever was on the screen.

‘’Can’t admit defeat, can you? Okay, what have you got this ti-’’

\-----Loins afire----->

Laslow        loinsafire%         Niles

<\-----Loins afire-----

‘’ _Loins afire!’’_

‘’Loins afi- AKK!’’ Soleil cringed hard as her eyes started to water at the horrifying results, her friend wild with laughter as very graphic things started to fill her poor head. She could feel her faith in the gods waning. ‘’Ewewewew, I didn’t need that mental image damn it, Nina! D-Dad’s too fragile for that kinda stuff... oh gods, make it stoooop!’’

‘’J-Just to let you know, Soleil, my father keeps a chest of rope in his bedroom, pffft!’’

The mercenary’s face suddenly became very green, raising a wary hand over her mouth. ‘’Urgh, n-not cool... I-I think I need some fresh air...’’

‘’That’s what you get for making fun of boys love, nerd!’’ she shouted as Soleil bolted out of the hall. Nina wiped away a mirthful tear at the chaotic sounds that eventually came from outside. ‘’Haaah... you’re something else, girls lover...’’

‘’You’re a cruel, cruel woman, Ms. Nina.’’ she heard Hubba say from the screen as the thief sat down and happily stretched her stiff limbs. Light giggles continued to bubble out of upturned lips, fuelled by thoughts of a frazzled charmer and the accompanying screams of terror. ‘’But, I suppose that’s youth, ohoho. You two seem closer than two peas in a pod!’’

‘’Yeah, she’s a good friend...’’ Nina found her smile growing unconsciously wider as those words parted her mouth. She let her eyelids lower, allowing timeless memories of comical arguments, stalking sessions, and moonlit banter drift and warm her mind. ‘’Never a dull moment with her...’’

It was too late to stop the blush from resurfacing to rosy cheeks, slowly becoming aware of how dizzying the thoughts of a headstrong mercenary became. Dazzling eyes that always reflected the sun regardless of the time of day, the husk that rumbled on a usually high-pitched voice when they tried to hide their whispers from passerbys, the smile that never faltered on chapped lips, even in the face of death.

‘I wonder...why does she almost never flirt with me...what am I to her, what could...I...be...’

Impulse persuaded her legs to suddenly stand, a foreign fantasy vivid in her head as she once again faced the tablet.

‘’Hey, old man.’’ Nina’s voice was quiet as her fingers roamed the faces. ‘’Let me try one more.’’

‘’Awww, come on, lady! I can’t take much more of yer weird fetis...-’’ But, the gruff voice quickly trailed off when he saw the two people which were chosen, the operator pouting red-faced as she shyly avoided eye contact. A knowing smirk grew on Hubba’s wrinkly face. ‘’Ohoho, but this is another story! I’m not one to dissuade a maiden in love!’’

‘’Cram it, perv...I’m just...morbidly curious...’’ She could feel the aggravating smirk grow a touch wider on Hubba’s face before he disappeared beneath a curtain of magic, the machine processing her request. As lights flashed and gears turned, the thief’s heart suddenly began to pump, emotions blooming like an orchid in an abrupt, passionate drive. Olive eyes trembled in anticipation for the visage of the women behind the screen, like a wife waiting for her lover to come home from war. Careless words slipped past on a dry tongue.

‘’S-S...So-Soleil...I... I-!’’

\-----Head over heals----->

Nina                  49%              Soleil

<\-------Touch and go-------

‘’ _Hello, ulterior motives!’’_

‘’...’’

 

 

 

Outside of the records hall, the Soleil was resting against the wall as she watched the sunrise gradually paint the sky in pinks and oranges. A faint puff of smoke was born into the chilly morning air as the mercenary took solace in the rays of light that warmed her flesh, trying to fill her mind with less intrusive things.

‘’Dad loves mom, not Mr. Niles. He loves tea and pretty flowers, not hot wax and rope. Sugar, ponies, rainbows, cute girls, sunshine... haaa. I’m going to have nightmares from now on. Nina, you witch...’’ Contrary to what her voice may have implied, a smile still curved her lips, letting out another breath of white as she softly chuckled to herself. ‘’Never a dull moment with her...’’

She let her eyes glaze like the clouds above, the sunrise bathing the castle grounds in a bronze hue. It reminded her of a particular someone’s skin. A faint pinkness played on the edges of her cheeks.

‘’I flirted with her in there, didn’t I? Hehe, easy there, tiger. Can’t let that secret out.’’ Tranquil eyes fluttered gently close. The feeling of goosebumps on tender skin was still so warm on her fingertips. ‘’Maybe someday though...maybe someday...’’

Her daydreams were cut short when the doors of the hall suddenly swung open, the shadow of twin braids stretching across the grass. While she locked away her thoughts, the smile birthed from them remained just as radiant as she got up to meet her partner.

‘’Done tainting our dads’ names? Haha, honestly, yo-’’

Before she could even finish her sentence, a hard fist slammed mercilessly into her face, knocking the mercenary back down to the ground in a graceless pile. Bewildered and possibly missing a few teeth, her confused, spinning eyes weakly rose to meet her assailant, pleading for an explanation to her crooked nose. Nina’s own eyes were seething and sharp, breathing ragged and imposing. Past the aura of murder, Soleil could also make out a trace of embarrassment nearly hidden by the sunlight as she glared discomposedly back.

‘’Soleil, you JERK!’’

With just those few angry words and an exasperated squeak, the thief stomped back to the barracks alone, leaving the mercenary nowhere more informed.

‘’H-Huh?! I should be yelling at you! W-Wait, Nina, come back!’’ Soleil sloppily rose to her legs and stuttered after her friend. The morning breeze was fresh and bold between her hair as the sun rose over another typical day for the two.

‘’I can explain!... W-Whatever it is! Ninaaaaaaa, I’m sorry!’’

 

**Author's Note:**

> I spent more time in that thing than I care to admit.


End file.
